my story

You’ve been through some tough times and have come out stronger. You’ve set out goals and have successfully accomplished them. But you’re craving more. Time is passing by quickly and you can’t figure out what to do next, you can feel it in your bones that there is more out there for you.


You want that sense of inner calm, a feeling of being wholly self-connected. Because from there it all seems to flow.    


I get it. Life is hectic and stressful. And with the constant pressure of the world around us, it can feel like there’s no sight of an opportunity to find some stillness.


The beautiful thing is that we each have an innate wisdom running deep within us and when you can tap into it, you see life with a fresh perspective and you are more open and confident. Things start to fall into place, connecting you and the life you want.


For as long as I can remember, I have had a tangible knowledge of being connected with myself: who I am and who I choose to be. Not to say that connection has been steady and consistent throughout my life. It has come and gone and when it’s gone, all I know is that I’m craving for it to come back.


Why?? Because it feels like this inner well of serenity is flowing out of me and into my life. Even when I can’t explain it and it happens in the most unexpected of ways, I am comforted by knowing I am getting exactly what is meant for me and my walk through life.


I can say with certainty that I have spent plenty of time sort of rebelling against being self-connected. 


Throughout my 20’s, I worked in the stressful and demanding work environments of restaurants. As is the standard in this industry, it included all-night parties with my friends and co-workers just about every night. We worked hard and we made up for it by playing pretty hard.


Around the age of 27, I was hired as a manager at a fancy restaurant in San Francisco. Between being a “boss” (vs. having a bunch of co-workers) and the 60-80 work hours per week I’d put in at the restaurant, I decided it was best to cut out the partying and focus on doing my job well. Unfortunately, the job was still super stressful.


I had no time for a personal life and became incredibly lonely. I was just so sad, really.


By what seemed like good luck, I was randomly offered an office job in my hometown about an hour away. I was so ready for something new and different, I took it. Within 3 weeks I had left the restaurant, moved to another town, and began office work life. 


The job offered me new experiences and challenges, and a steady paycheck throughout the uncertain times of the recession years. By becoming friends with my new co-workers, it had also brought me a social life where I didn’t feel lonely anymore. Unfortunately, this social scene was also heavily laden with some serious over-consumption of alcohol. While I had been hoping to leave that kind of scene behind, it seemed to come back to haunt me. I told myself, “This must be the kind of life that is meant for me,” so I fell right back into it. I had accepted this embedded belief that my route in life was going to always include the partying and unhealthy relationships that were holding me back.


Over time, I was feeling more and more internally conflicted and it was becoming extremely uncomfortable. I wanted a full life with honest relationships and a healthier lifestyle but I didn’t want to be lonely and depressed again. What actually happened was that I became even more lonely. Adding in the effects of excessive alcohol and not enough sleep, I was also miserable and anxious. For too long, I had chosen to listen to an insecure part of me and had no sight of who I was and the life I wanted for myself. I felt empty. I felt totally lost. Even though I knew I was meant to be happy and have more stability in my life, I couldn’t seem to manage breaking out of these unhealthy patterns.


I had hit a rock bottom so many times and instilled this belief that change was impossible for me. 


One morning after getting through (another) drinking-induced anxiety attack, I’d decided I’d had enough. I was completely drained: mentally, physically, and spiritually. I knew deep down there was little spark within me that just wouldn’t give up, reminding me that I could make the changes I needed to, if I decided to and took action. I had to change my attitude, my entire outlook, and make mindful choices.


With the support of my family and close friends, it was time for me to make some changes to what was around me- I quit the office job, stepped back from those relationships that were no longer serving me and moved back to San Francisco. While I did go back to working in a restaurant, I also took on the process of changing my relationship with alcohol.


The first real meaningful experience was when I didn’t drink for 30 days. I was able to gain the perspective that I control the role alcohol plays in my life and not the other way around. I was honestly shocked by the increase of energy and time that just seemed to appear for me out of nowhere. I took on healthy activities like working out, practicing yoga, hiking in nature, and rebuilding my meditation practice. I learned to enjoy being alone, finding solace in being with only me. I had taken on shifting my mindset about who I was and the life that was meant for me. It felt amazing!


There were still some old, negative limiting beliefs that were creeping in. Things like, “I can’t trust other people,” and “I don’t deserve to be happy.” Thankfully, I was able to work with a wonderful therapist and an excellent coach who helped me to mindfully recognize and constructively bring about a release of those subconscious beliefs. I was steadily increasing my self-knowledge and reconnecting with who I am. Which was really, all I’d ever wanted! 


It was that strong inner connection of feeling confident and being able to tune into my intuition, whose sole purpose was to guide me along my unique path. 


I am happier, trust that I will be taken care of in life, and have the freedom to choose how I am going to act (and react) and really, just be in my daily life. It was a great feeling to know I would no longer fall into the unhealthy traps life was inevitably going to present to me. I felt a newfound sense of freedom.


The integrative approach to rediscovering who I am was essential to my personal growth and getting me back on my life’s path. I am incredibly grateful for it and really wanted to be able to help others’ on their own personal journey through life. So I did some research and enrolled in an Integrative Wellness Coach training program. I learned useful coaching skills and just knew this was the right career for me. In my experience of working in hospitality, I loved helping others and creating meaningful experiences for them but now I was really excited to help people on a more enriching level.


I’m lucky enough to help others through their journey and find more fulfillment out of life. 


I absolutely love guiding my clients towards making sustainable change and I’m absolutely thankful for the opportunities to make a tangible difference in their lives.

I am in my happiest place: knowing how to care for myself so that I can offer my very best in service to my clients. And in my free time, I still get my hospitality on by hosting dinner parties for my family and friends.

Are you ready to make a breakthrough? 

On a more personal level...

This is me (and one of my sisters!) in my happiest place: outside & in nature. I love the beach and sunny weather!

I grew up in a small, coastal California town where daily life included exposure to sandy beaches, sunny mountains, and redwood forests. These beautiful surroundings instilled in me a real love of nature and spending time outdoors. I know this time is beneficial in the dimension of my spiritual health.

While I currently reside in the Bay Area, any chance I get I'll make a camping road trip or a visit to Baja!

© 2020 by Meagan Lenz